Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Type better antijokes above

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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No, Trinidad.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops