Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops