A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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