What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops