I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

A man goes to the potty.

Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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