What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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