Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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