How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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