Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Poop

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i hate non minorities!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops