Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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