What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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