What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Albino African Americans

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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A bar walks into a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops