Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -16

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock knock OCD

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops