Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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my egg roll

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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