Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops