John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops