Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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the WNBA.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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