Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

the WNBA.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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