Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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You are joking right?

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A man goes to the potty.

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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This is an anti-joke.

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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