What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

thumb_up thumb_down -27

2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is my name? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops