Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

You are joking right?

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...