Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

Knock, Knock Come in

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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