The government makes a good decision

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

Why Because

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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