Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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What stops a train? A missile

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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