Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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