When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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