why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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