What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

A man walks into a bar. Ow

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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