What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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ugvvvvvv

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

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Chuck Norris.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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