What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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eh

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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