what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's white and sticky semen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops