roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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time to spruce up!

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops