roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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rarw

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops