A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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