What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

I? Everett

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

Tony Romo

Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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