How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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kathryn atkins

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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