Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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