what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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