What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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