what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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I'm Coming

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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