wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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