Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

So a bar walks into a man...

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...