How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops