Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops