What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

woman's lacrosse

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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