Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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vitamin c

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Women's Rights

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops