Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

Ben Affleck

the economy.

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...