Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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fridge

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops