What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

Dane Cook makes a joke.

Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

Barack Obama is a good president.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...