What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops