Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Gus's mom

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops