what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have read and agreed to the terms of service

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women outside of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops