What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops