A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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