A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -8

2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Walnut

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops