Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops