A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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I wrote a funny joke.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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Yanter, Look it up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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