Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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