Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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