What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops