How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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